Patriots-Eagles Preview

This is the first chance this season we get to see how the Patriots will rebound from a loss. To be honest, there aren’t many teams that I’d rather face than the Eagles. The main reason is obvious- they suck. They’re just a bad football team with no real direction; the only reason that Chip Kelly still has a job is because the NFC East is almost as big of a joke as the 76ers franchise.

It also helps because I despise any and all Philadelphia athletic teams. I despise their fans, their management, (most of) their players, their jerseys… everything. Literally, for every single sport. I’m happy that their joke of a franchise has never won a Super Bowl and I hope that they never get to see another Super Bowl appearance.

Now to analyzing the game. I don’t think the Eagles have a chance, to put it bluntly. If you asked me a few weeks ago, I would’ve said that this is a potential trap game that might give New England problems. Looking at them now though? They haven’t had a quarterback all year long. Don’t get me wrong, you definitely don’t want Mark Sanchez starting games for you, but let’s not pretend that Sam Bradford is any sort of upgrade, if at all. He has 10 picks in 9 games, but that stat doesn’t even begin to tell the tale of how porous he is as a QB. To be fair, it’s not like he has any quality weapon to pass to. I won’t even waste my energy talking about how disgusting the Eagles’ receiving core is.

Bradford was only brought into the City of Brotherly Love (*gags*) to lure DeMarco Murray away from Dallas. That looked like an okay signing at the time, despite Murray’s history of injuries. Add him with Ryan Mathews, another free agent signee from San Diego, and all of the sudden, you’ve got a great one-two punch… Right?

Wrong. Because here’s a fun fact- Murray hasn’t fit the Eagles’ scheme (if that’s what you want to call their offense) at all. He’s rushed for 100+ yards in a game once this season. He’s scored a touchdown in 4 games this season. 4. Want some perspective? Entering Week 13 last season, he rushed over 100 yards in 10 games. He scored at least once in 7 games. And Mathews? Well, he has more touchdowns than Murray by one score (5 total). But he has a whopping 427 rushing yards on the year. Do you guys get the picture yet? That Philadelphia sucks?

The Patriots are still banged up on offense. However, since the Eagles can’t do anything right, they shouldn’t have a problem. I’m hoping they give Gronk a break and sit him down Sunday (as of writing, they have yet to announce whether he’s in or out). I’d also like to see Brady’s body, which has taken a pounding recently, to take a break too. I want to see New England really emphasize the running game, which means LeGarrette Blount. Philadelphia has one of the worst run defenses in the league, so they might as well exploit that.

Belichick doesn’t lose back-to-back games. Tom Brady doesn’t lose back-to-back games. I realize that if you reread what I wrote, I spent more time bullying Philly and talking about why the Eagles are bad. That’s because they legitimately don’t stand a chance.

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